First things first; I absolutely love being a mum. I sit sometimes and think about how I couldn’t bear life without Milo and how being his mum must be true calling in life because it just feels so right.
Ash & I had our first date night this week and it really hit me how ‘abandoned’ (for lack of a better word) our relationship has been. I in no way blame Ash, he has been the most amazing, supportive and loving partner & father, this is all me. I have been totally wrapped up in trying to be the ‘perfect’ mum to Milo that I have been a less than perfect (almost) wife.
For 9 months you say to each other how you better make the most of your time as just a twosome, I remember when we went out for dinner a couple of days past my due date when we talked of all the exciting times to come and how we were going to be a family. You think to yourself how amazing it will be that you are adding to this perfect partnership and everything is going to be ten times better than before. Don’t get me wrong it is ten (million) times better but it is also very, very different.
All of a sudden you have a tiny human who turns your whole world upside down, and inside out. For the first couple of weeks I could barely manage to fit brushing my teeth into my day never mind having time to shave my legs or brush my hair. If seeing a 7lb baby shooting out of my lady area wasn’t enough of a scarring experience for poor Ash, he then had to put up with a baby shit smelling, greasy tramp looking, sick covered emotional wreck.
In the first month you slouch around wearing your granny pants and adult nappies (might as well be), wake up every morning in a pool of your own milk, and have to bite down on a towel every time you wee!
How on earth are you supposed to feel like a woman?
How the hell are you supposed to feel sexy?
Now I can leave Milo with my parents for a few hours without feeling like the world worst mum (well not the whole time anyway) and I have noticed how much I have been abandoning Ash I hope that we can take some steps to get back to where we were. I think that I would love to have a date night every two weeks where we can laugh, cuddle, and maybe have a cheeky few kisses (steady on) without a baby attached to my Boob.
I really want Milo to grow up seeing how much his parents love each other. Ash & I never had that with out families and I definitely think it affected me, anyway that’s another story for another time.
Love Alex & Milo x
If Ash reads this then I just want to say that I am so sorry I have been a terrible girlfriend lately but I love you so much more for being so understanding. I can’t thank you enough for giving my our beautiful baby boy, you are the best dad and I absolutely love seeing how much you adore each other. I only ever want to make you happy because you’ve made me the happiest woman in the world and I can’t wait to be your wife.