It’s Okay to Need a Break

I mentioned in my last update on Milo that he had been quite difficult and it had been a little stressful for me. So on Saturday I left him with my parents for the afternoon while I caught up on some housework, and the mum guilt was unbelievably overpowering especially as he had just had his 8 week jabs. After some (strong) encouragement from my Step-mum I finally got back in the car to go home, I had been making excuses for about an hour as to why I should stay…

I think that the first time I left him was always going to be the hardest because after I did it I felt so refreshed and happier ready to be super mum again. Being a parent is stressful and nobody can say any different, luckily Milo has never suffered from the dreaded colic (touch wood) and we are so lucky. He is a really good baby and I love him more than life itself. It doesn’t make you a bad mum because you want to have a long shower or a hot cup of tea just once in a while so if anyone is offering to help grab that opportunity with both hands and run with it.

Milo doesn’t often cry but sometimes when he does and I have no idea why it really stresses me out, then I have mum guilt because he is just a baby and he depends on me for everything so I have no right to be stressed out. Later when I have calmed down or Ash is around to help me so that I can get something to eat and a drink and I think about it properly I feel even worse for loosing the plot a little. This is why it is important to take all the help you can get, I thought for a while that I was his mum and it is my job to be with him all the time. Ridiculously I thought that people would judge us for asking for help because I wanted to have a baby and so I have to be the one to look after him.

Mum guilt is real people and it comes in many different thoughts, feelings and scenarios.

I know this post has been a bit of a ramble but I don’t know how I properly feel myself, I just needed a bit of an outlet. I also want new mums who feel a little overwhelmed or stressed that it is normal, everyone goes through this just some hide it better than others.

P.S I’ve not slept in 8 weeks…

Love Alex x

The Pramshed

13 Replies to “It’s Okay to Need a Break”

  1. We are moving closer to Mr O’s parents exactly so we can have the extra help and the ability to occasionally take a little break. I think being able to take a breath makes for better, calmer mums. How I will feel when I actually have Little O is probably a very different story.

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    1. That’s good, it’s lovely that they want to help out and you have that support! It is very strange that first time you leave them but I feel so much calmer and better for it which can only be good for baby! x

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  2. Here here! This post hit the nail right on the head. My first born has had a screamy day, and I turned my parents offer of baby sitting down as I felt the guilt.

    I think in hindsight a break would have been better for me and my daughter. A fresh face and a change of scene for her and an hours kip for me to catch up from the night feeds for my newborn!

    This post really resonated with me today.

    #fortheloveofBLOG

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    1. Once you do leave them for that first time you realise it is for the best but walking out the door without your baby is the strangest feeling in the whole world. I still looked for him when I was out or went to get the buggy out the boot haha. Motherhood does strange things to you.
      Thanks so much for visiting my Blog x

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  3. I have a 6 week old baby and feel exactly the same! I get overwhelmed by the fact that I have to be able to calm and soothe her then later when I reflect I realise I’m putting too much pressure on myself. We don’t have any help nearby but if we did, I would definitely use it. A bit of “you time” will make you more relaxed and happier and that will definitely transfer to baby. Sounds like you’re doing a good job so far! #fortheloveofblog

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    1. Aw bless you, I am so lucky that I have lots of family close that are desperate to help. Have you managed to have any time to yourself? Ash helps me a lot but I think the fact that I am breastfeeding makes him feel a bit useless bless him but it won’t be forever we just have to enjoy them this little and appreciate how much they need us because before we know it they will be angry teens trying to get away from us haha x

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      1. My husband feels helpless when I’m feeding too, I ‘ve just started to try to pump, it’s a steep learning curve! You’re right, by the time they’re teenagers you’ll wish they relied on you for everything again!

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  4. Being a mother is so difficult, it is a 24/7 job, there is no let up from it, it is all you if you are breastfeeding, and it can be all consuming. I know that I certainly felt that way, and still do. I would love to be able to have my parents take my daughter just for a few hours so that I could have a break, or not to worry about feeding, nappy changes, or getting my daughter to sleep. It is so important that you have a break, says she who has had hardly any time away from my little one, to gain perspective and make time for yourself. Don’t ever feel bad for it, it does not make you a bad Mum, it makes you a happier Mum. I hope that it starts to get easier for you lovely. Thanks so much for joining us at #fortheloveofBLOG, hope you come back next week. Claire x

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    1. I know what you mean, you feel like you need a break but are reluctant to go for it. I definitely feel a lot better after doing it once so surely the next time won’t be so bad, I hope… Thank you so much for inviting me to join in, I love it. Such a great way to discover new Blogs x

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  5. I think you’ve answered some of your own questions about why you get stressed out by Milo’s crying with your postscript!

    Sleep deprivation does horrible things to you, that’s why it’s such an effective torture method.

    I’m glad you found the help you needed and gave yourself the permission to have a break.

    #fortheloveofblog

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    1. I know, you don’t think that it affects you that much but then the crying just gets too much for you and that’s it. I remember in the first week I never got stressed out but it must all be catching up with me!
      Thanks so much for coming to visit my Blog. x

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